I was digging through some old hard drives the other day and came across a few short tunes I created with my new (at the time) Roland V-Drums and my Korg Karma keyboard. I used Acid software (before Sony bought them) for recording. I wouldn’t call it music, just jamming while testing out the new rigs.
social engineering at its finest
Take a close look at this receipt and tell me what you see. I see a city which continues to increasingly drive tourism as well as new and existing businesses away. Yet another useless tax. Keep it up San Francisco. You’re going to end up like Illinois before too long.
Hell, what am I talking about? At least Illinois has a reason, as misguided as it is. The San Francisco legislature on the other hand; well they’re just fucking idiots.
beer…
its sorta’ gamey
just chillin’
Hangin’ with the dogs on a Tuesday evening. They clearly were out of their element and wanted nothing more than to go home.
coming out, part 2
Worked on the master bedroom walk-in closet. Got the old carpet up, prepped it an additional 1/4 plywood and vapor barrier / sound masking material in order to put down 5/16 inch bamboo flooring. Turned out most excellent. More photos after the jump.
life is good
Enjoying a beer (in this case, two) at Ray’s on the campus of Standford University.
coming out
Finished a small home project today. Spent a few hours installing hardwood flooring in the guest bedroom closet. I’m pretty happy with the results.
and the winner is…
pwned
I’ll never understand the value of Keynesian economics. Watch in awe as Friedman schools Donahue.
franky’s back
Frank at his obscure worst.
wedding bliss
Looking forward to my blessed day too.
i smite thee!
With apologizes to Steve Martin, I don’t think I would believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
better living through (old school) science
For a drug free America.
catchy little tune, no?
That’s one way to endear yourself to your wife.
in case you need to identify that terrorist in your life
Funny how my sketch came out like Pee Wee Herman.
the squirrels in my neighborhood are clearly descendants
Scrat always was my favorite.
that billboard makes you look so hot!
There are those who clearly need more than just make-up and Adobe Photoshop at their sides.
knock, knock…
I’d have a hard time controlling the Fists of Death after this move.
excedrin anyone?
As a drummer, I found this quite humorous.
good luck on round three
One of the better time killers I’ve encountered, teagames.com continues to crank out some of the most entertaining Flash games found on the web.
quite a beak on that guy
Impressive. More so considering I’ve encountered people with less of a vocabulary.
just in case your kid isn’t getting enough sugar…
This is so wrong on so many levels.
introduction to management – 101
I found an old company management training video which, based upon my experience, is still widely used today.
with apologizes to shawn barrett
I came across this video some time ago. Created by one Shawn Barrett; in short, a masterpiece. At this point the band Loverboy should be paying him royalties. No doubt sales rose as a direct result. What I want to know is, do those amps go to 11?
did ya’ get the memo?
In the words of my former manager, “Perception is reality!” The perception is he’s brilliant (Heck, just ask him.) In this case though, the reality is, he’s a moron. To celebrate that fact, I bring you The Adventures of Action Item…Professional Superhero!
screw those stress balls
I guarantee playing this will at least put a smile on your face. It certainly did mine considering the antagonist looks (and acts) awfully like my ex-boss (the prick).
blasphemy!
Ever want to annoy your religious friends? Well now you can with the church sign generator! Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go burn in hell.
tom, have you ever considered another line of work?
Ever thought of becoming a pharmacist?
that reminds me, i need to call my sister
Hey Tonka, I have someone I want you to meet.
worthless skillz
I don’t know.  Could be real, could be fake. If the former, quite impressive feats of accuracy (but still unmarketable).
karina’s kantina
A bit (OK, a lot) of self promotion here – a short video on a recently completed makeover of my step-daughter’s room. Feel free comment. I’m always looking for constructive criticism.
foto fun
Want to jazz up some photos? Check out flagrantdisregard.com for the ‘toys’ they provide. The links to Motivator and Magazine Cover are the best. My contribution. I can relate.
goodbye and good luck, bill…you bsod
Our best to you Mr. Gates…sort of.
doh!
The future of Microsoft’s next generation OS and its voice recognition component. Gentlemen, there is a reason they call it QA. Try it sometime prior to any product demo in front of a live audience. It does wonders!
dude, you’re gettin’ fixed!
Got a Dell? Need a fix? Kinda’ cool – Dell’s “PC Checkup“, an automated tool that keeps your PC problem-free (relatively). It also reminds you how stupid you are for not keeping your system updated, yet with none of the behind the back insults of a support technician!
we need to talk about your tps reports
The movie Office Space easily falls within my top ten all time favorite movies. And now a 30 second version by Bunnies Theater for you ADD suffers.
dear santa…
BusinessWeek recently posted their Best Product Designs 2006. Some cool stuff. Check ’em out.
hey ted, a little advice – crawl back under the rock
<-- Cutaway of one of the many Internet tubes.
Thank god we have people like Congressman Sen. Ted Stevens protecting our interests. Check out the hilarious follow-up broadcast too. As my sis’ rightly pointed out, “Ted Stevens et al definitely understand “fluid dynamics” in them there tubes. I’m sure they consulted Al Gore, the inventor of the Internet (tubes). He probably charges a lot for consulting fees I’m guessing. But well worth it! Particularly since he is a former member of Congress and understands “their” language too.”
ok, now try it without the seat
I use to do similar tricks, but they usually lasted only seconds and for some reason, I would always end up face first in front of the bike.
What’s even more amazing is the bike she uses. It isn’t a standard BMX bike. More of a road bike which is much higher and more difficult to maneuver. Watch as these tricks get progressively more difficult.
and you thought you were done learnin’
The 25 most important questions in the history of the universe.
the vader sessions
when art forms collide
A great example of 3D modeling and animation.
lets do the time-warp again
If only all press conferences could be this entertaining.
hey, i know her!
Where’s HAL when you need him?
who’s on first?
This needs no introduction. A classic.
yeah, I remember when I had my first schwinn
I ride, therefore I suck.
hey apple, ever considered joining the real world?
Time for a reality check, Steve.
go on…motivate me
Desire to bring your own brand of motivation to friends and loved ones? Design your own motivational posters!
your taxes, simplified
Not sure how the U.S. government tallies your tax burden? We’re here to help.
well @#$%& you
Another great installment of Unnecessary Censorship (#20) from Jimmy Kimmel Live.
now this is a show i’d watch
To me, American Idol is boring with a capital ‘B’, but this spoof was a riot. I don’t know who this guy is, but he’s got the impressions down pat.
a guy who’ll bend over backwards to help his team
I’m not a soccer fan in the least bit, but this is one hell of a save.
flying through the air with the greatest of…stupidity
I got a kick out of this. A great trampoline accident where the guy got what he deserved. Nothing graphic, just funny. I love how he has enough time in the air to process what will be the end result.
i’m sure pepsi is thrilled about this plug
And its so much cheaper than using actual explosive devices!
the only tool here is ken
Not so smart there, are ya’ ken.
in my case, that would be a deathwish
Cruel. Amusing, but cruel.
that’s one way to go down under
Pee-Wee Herman doesn’t have a thing on this guy.
no son, i am not in fact the mailman
Welcome to the world of latchkey kids.
i’m a full-time slacker
A semi-cool Flash game for you bored people.
personally i think the producers did it as a ratings booster
Who says newcasters don’t have tough assignments?
how are your ogling skills?
Practice makes perfect! And as we all know, it makes us men live longer.
finally, great scientific minds lay this mystery to rest
In case you were wondering.
clearly mr. miyagi failed this student
Clean up, isle five please!
we will be experiencing slight turbulence on approach
A Superman gone wrong at 20 ft.
saturday morning memories, completely shattered
I’m dating myself, but as a kid, I remember watching these paticular G.I. Joe shorts on Saturday morning. Unfortunately my fond memories have been permanently warped thanks to these ‘timeless’ re-works. The only one’s worth watching are “Pork Chop Sandwiches” and “Ice.”
finally, the long awaited epilogue to star wars
Darth Vader calls the Emperor.
happy mother’s day!
Brotherly love (at its worst).
thank god he kept the macarena to a minimum
Devolution is more appropriate.
would you like a complimentary barf bag with that?
Blue Angels of Death.
magic doesn’t get much more mesmerizing than this
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the world’s greatest magician. Imagine what he could teach David Copperfield (other than that he needs a personality transplant).
like when you can’t turn your head from a car crash
disturbing, yet uniquely funny, in a weird sorta’ way.
they’d better port it to the pc or gates gets it in the nuts
Halo 3 preview from E3, baby!
steve martin at his best
The Great Flydini! A magician with a seriously (ahem) unique ability.
why can’t it be 1907 again?
morning wood
Mine’s got a nice smooth finish considering how often its polished.
clearly the wheels fell off the ‘good taste’ wagon
Nothin’ like a horny lobster for dinner. I captured this in Albertson’s supermarket last night.
i’ll pop a wheelie if you show me your tits
What I aspire to.
makes killer bagels too
The Jedi Breakfast.
one word: six
Dated, but still holds it own – the original short Tripping the Rift.
make windows xp boot times like speedy gonzales
Someone asked me about this so I thought I’d provide some tips from a few sources.
was the problem due to the type of packing material used?
A real EBay firestorm that got so many hits it was recently removed. Read the questions towards the bottom, they are so worth the time.
weeeeeee!
So back in December of 2005, the Mozilla Corporation created the Firefox Flicks Ad Contest focusing on promoting the creation of innovative 30-second ads about the Firefox browser. Today, an inexplicably funny one posted.
timmy went on to become a gay cheerleader for stanford
OH MY GOD!!!…Nintendo 64!!!
need to de-crapify your new dell system?
A one Jason York, esq., created what has got to be one of the most useful anti-Dell tools out there. This was needed five years ago. Better late than never I suppose.
he didn’t make it to the parking lot at the end of the day
Next up, screwing with your co-workers!
truth in advertising?
Go easy on Ralph there, dude. And lay off the coke.
i knew he was a pussy
Darth Vader against the Japanese Police.
combine, antlions, and striders, oh my!
I make no apologizes, I am a big fan of Half-Life 2 and other FPS‘s. While learning the basics of Macromedia Flash, I created a handful of in game vids for my amusement.
- Combine Gunship bad, Gordon Freeman good
- Welcome to City 17, please watch for flying debris
- Video Gamers Anonymous – I’m addicted, so what?
- Yet another piece of mindless crap by your’s truly. (Note: 30MB)
welcome to city 17 (what’s left of it)
It goes without saying – If you have to ask, then you don’t understand. The recently announced official website for Half-Life 2: Episode 1. The game hits stores (and Steam) on June 1st. The video says it all. God bless Valve. The A.I. in the Source engine has been bumped, providing even more realistic interaction with the NPCs. Also to be included in this release is the much touted HDRI technology.
For those interested parties, the story up to this point. More available on wikipedia.org.
shake, rattle, and roll
For you Google Earth fans, a virtual tour of the 1906 San Francisco earthquake. Thanks guys! Great timing on the release given the article in USA Today that came out the same day detailing the current risks of living in the Bay Area. Way to freak us all out (not to mention driving the value of my home down…jerks).
go, andy, go
We hold these truths to be self-evident. Too bad the idiots in this country don’t.
current events in 30 seconds
wtf, mates? (Still a classic in my humble opinion.)
…and then, boom!
It’s never a dull moment with Frank Caliendo. I found one of his older clips too.
i’m rootin’ for dorkman
This has got to be one of the better amateur videos showcasing lightsaber action.
now i’ve seen everything
I need a xxx large, and not because my dog is big.
drumkit for sale
Next to this kid, I officially suck.
the matrix, only cheaper
I’m still trying to determine how they did this.
fact: professional bowlers do not bounce
Intentional, but no less painless (if not just painful to watch).
yeah, but what about the klingons?
Taking astronomy to a new low.
pure evil
The evils of squirrel blood – you’ve been warned.
dear kansas; the day of reckoning has come
Finally, the word of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has arrived! Ironically, the book’s launch coincided with the first true sighting in Hamburg, Germany. Even more, it was caught on tape during Oktoberfest! I mean, come on, what are the odds?!
seduction of the innocent
How about some ‘unintentionally’ sexual comic book covers to peruse? Were the artists and writers blind or was it blatant? More likely a (drastic) change in times. Before you decide, there’s more to consider.
stay within the lines, dammit!
cats…
…they taste like chicken.
An older clip, but still a classic. No doubt I’ll take heat for this from the future in-laws.
april 1, 2006 – the day netizens get duped
The complete list of hoaxes on the net for 2006.
clean up, isle five
He’s going to be extremely late for work.
urban asshole notification cards
Sign me up for for a pack of 100.
a ring of truth
It’s a generational thing, you wouldn’t understand.
winner of the most annoying email thread ever written
“The cutest site i’ve ever or youve ever seen is this one CLICK IT NOW LOL!!! because they have the cutest pictures you will ever see =) =) =) Like hamsters wearing SO CUTE hats and so many kittens zomg i love kitties especially that brown one i hope they show him with hats to LOLOLOLOLOL!!! Ok I gottta go now bye!!!”
35 face balls in 32 seconds
battle of the chinese takeout!
If someone suggested it, I would have told them such a prank would never work. And yet, an example of how wrong I would have been.
that’ll teach you to use the handle
Remove the glass from the doors of a public building and what do you get? A hilarious prank! Watch as these poor people go to push a door open only to get a handful of air and a face full of awkward. Such a simple prank to pull off providing a great reaction.
boo!
Atom Films serves up some great short independant films across all genre. For me, I like a good scare now and then. If you’re OK watching flicks in front of a computer, enjoy this particular selection.
man dies on back nine
All I can say is, he’s got balls…big balls.
can you guess which one would be a bit tough to satisfy?
It’s fuel enjected too.
next we’ll be teaching them how to deal with telemarketers
I don’t know where you’d even begin to try and start teaching them this stuff.
be a man!
Welcome to The Great Mall of Milpitas, how can I annoy you?
busted!
A Olney, Illinois off duty police officer visiting Foster City, California over the weekend was credited for assisting in the capture of one Tonka, a.k.a. “4×4”, a vicious Bernese Mountain Dog in what local authorities are calling one of the most horrific crimes against sciurus carolinensis. More>
and exactly how do they clean the dishes?
“…and for desert, chocolate covered urinal cakes.”
Called “marton” or toilet in Chinese, the restaurant has long queues (not unlike at Pac Bell Park in S.F.) due to its incredible popularity. Clearly flush with success.
tough life
Tonka-san doin’ what he does best. He has a new trick to his arsenal. Bark “tug-a-war!” and he’ll go hunt down and return with his rope for a good pull-n-growl session.
luke, i am your father…now go get the popcorn
I would thoroughly enjoy having something like this but it would be a tough sell since the damn thing is bigger than my whole house.
note that it burned out as fast as the brat pack’s careers
Imagine what Macgyver could do with this knowledge!
end losers
Why, when I was in tech support didn’t I think of this?
on a distant planet…
Listen Captain, either get your ego in check or have your olfactory senses tested, OK?
qvc = gotcha’ suckers
Who knew I could be even more productive with my PC?
“get a life” – aye, aye, captain!
Shatner at his finest.
the ten second rule
In all seriousness, great advice on resume writing for the IT professional.
the professor and his drum kit
I admit it, I’m a fan of Rush. I’m also a thief. I snaked the following off their official websites. Muaw-haa-haa!
- Just five minutes behind this, that’s all I ask.
- This is a prime example of a Rush nut with a copy of 3D Studio Max R3 and way too much time on his hands.
as if trying to grasp string theory wasn’t hard enough…
I love science, and yet I’d be lucky to understand even .0001% of it. Worse, the more scientists learn, the dumber I get. The latest on dark energy – Headquarters for Missing Mass opened in Menlo Park, CA. And remember kids, Obey gravity. It’s the law!
suck factor 10, mr. sulu!
This sums up my ex-boss pretty well. He really had our backs *cough* throughout my last two years.  A real *hack* team leader *choke*.  I mean really, just because you play a team sport doesn’t mean you have to be a team player, does it? Like they say, there’s no “I” in team, but there is a “me.”
me fall down, go ‘boom’!
Updates / highlights on boomboom for you FPS fans if so inclined.
love hurts
It’s still not safe to go back into the water.
the artists suck twice as bad…
The museum of bad album covers. Some of them are just…wrong.
make me type bad text!
Everything this woman says sounds dirty. (OK, so I made her say it, but that’s not the point.) I played with this way to long. My more memorable ones –
- She means business!
- So who pissed on your cornflakes today?
- A real ladies man.
instant irishman – just add alcohol
Happy St. Patty’s Day!
To quote St. Patrick – “In honor of my driving the snakes out of Ireland, I beseech thee to paint thyselves green and vomit in the streets.“
i’ll have the “j&j fresh intestine pot” to start
The menu from hell. Written in chinese and translated to ‘ingrish, the Carbon Burns Black Bowel sounds so appetizing. Enjoy perusing the menu; the guy’s comments are classic.
have you hugged your #2 today?
I don’t really want to know why they named #1 “Kiss”.
less coffee, more therapy
If anything, this is the last guy who should be drinking C8H10N4O2.
me so hornet
Can you imagine gettin’ stung by this bastard?
thank you for not listening
google in 20 years
Can they help me find my virginity too?
she’s has a head for this sort of thing
Mr. Ed never had it so good.
a bit-o-history
:: Some holdouts from pre-tablescraps.net overhaul ::
- With a smokin’ surround sound system, this would be a killer game rig.
- Where was this when I needed it?
- Head on over to TechCrunch and check out Google Calendar, Google’s long delayed new online Ajax calendar application, which will be called “CL2″. Wicked-awesome.
- Who says pigs can’t fly.
- It appears I’ve choked it too much.
- Head over to Teagames.com and give Blueprint a spin.
- A bit dated, but nothing more killer than watching Joe Satriani do a kick-ass rendition of the US National Anthem at the Giants/Mets game at Pac Bell Park in SF, CA. And don’t forget kiddies, Super Colossal hits stores March 14th!
- Cork soaking as an art form.
- The truth hurts, doesn’t Bill?
- And people wonder why I don’t want kids.
- Thank god for Dr. E.L. Kersten.
- Stay off the drugs, son.