I was digging through some old hard drives the other day and came across a few short tunes I created with my new (at the time) Roland V-Drums and my Korg Karma keyboard. I used Acid software (before Sony bought them) for recording. I wouldn’t call it music, just jamming while testing out the new rigs.
Take a close look at this receipt and tell me what you see. I see a city which continues to increasingly drive tourism as well as new and existing businesses away. Yet another useless tax. Keep it up San Francisco. You’re going to end up like Illinois before too long.
Hell, what am I talking about? At least Illinois has a reason, as misguided as it is. The San Francisco legislature on the other hand; well they’re just fucking idiots.
…it does the body good. Even if one does go overboard. A ‘few’ growlers from Gordon Biersch Brewery and Restaurant in Palo Alto.
Smells like 2011 is going to be a good year for FPS whores like myself. And I’m more than prepared.
Hangin’ with the dogs on a Tuesday evening. They clearly were out of their element and wanted nothing more than to go home.
Worked on the master bedroom walk-in closet. Got the old carpet up, prepped it an additional 1/4 plywood and vapor barrier / sound masking material in order to put down 5/16 inch bamboo flooring. Turned out most excellent. More photos after the jump.
Enjoying a beer (in this case, two) at Ray’s on the campus of Standford University.
Finished a small home project today. Spent a few hours installing hardwood flooring in the guest bedroom closet. I’m pretty happy with the results.
Just dropped my Blackberry Tour for Verizon’s new Droid 2 device. This thing is wicked-awesome.
I’ll never understand the value of Keynesian economics. Watch in awe as Friedman schools Donahue.
Frank at his obscure worst.
Looking forward to my blessed day too.
With apologizes to Steve Martin, I don’t think I would believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
For a drug free America.
That’s one way to endear yourself to your wife.
Funny how my sketch came out like Pee Wee Herman.
Scrat always was my favorite.
There are those who clearly need more than just make-up and Adobe Photoshop at their sides.
I’d have a hard time controlling the Fists of Death after this move.
As a drummer, I found this quite humorous.
One of the better time killers I’ve encountered, teagames.com continues to crank out some of the most entertaining Flash games found on the web.
Impressive. More so considering I’ve encountered people with less of a vocabulary.
This is so wrong on so many levels.
I found an old company management training video which, based upon my experience, is still widely used today.
I came across this video some time ago. Created by one Shawn Barrett; in short, a masterpiece. At this point the band Loverboy should be paying him royalties. No doubt sales rose as a direct result. What I want to know is, do those amps go to 11?
In the words of my former manager, “Perception is reality!” The perception is he’s brilliant (Heck, just ask him.) In this case though, the reality is, he’s a moron. To celebrate that fact, I bring you The Adventures of Action Item…Professional Superhero!
I guarantee playing this will at least put a smile on your face. It certainly did mine considering the antagonist looks (and acts) awfully like my ex-boss (the prick).
Ever want to annoy your religious friends? Well now you can with the church sign generator! Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go burn in hell.
Ever thought of becoming a pharmacist?
Hey Tonka, I have someone I want you to meet.
I don’t know.  Could be real, could be fake. If the former, quite impressive feats of accuracy (but still unmarketable).
A bit (OK, a lot) of self promotion here – a short video on a recently completed makeover of my step-daughter’s room. Feel free comment. I’m always looking for constructive criticism.
Want to jazz up some photos? Check out flagrantdisregard.com for the ‘toys’ they provide. The links to Motivator and Magazine Cover are the best. My contribution. I can relate.
Our best to you Mr. Gates…sort of.
The future of Microsoft’s next generation OS and its voice recognition component. Gentlemen, there is a reason they call it QA. Try it sometime prior to any product demo in front of a live audience. It does wonders!
Got a Dell? Need a fix? Kinda’ cool – Dell’s “PC Checkup“, an automated tool that keeps your PC problem-free (relatively). It also reminds you how stupid you are for not keeping your system updated, yet with none of the behind the back insults of a support technician!
The movie Office Space easily falls within my top ten all time favorite movies. And now a 30 second version by Bunnies Theater for you ADD suffers.
BusinessWeek recently posted their Best Product Designs 2006. Some cool stuff. Check ’em out.
<-- Cutaway of one of the many Internet tubes.
Thank god we have people like Congressman Sen. Ted Stevens protecting our interests. Check out the hilarious follow-up broadcast too. As my sis’ rightly pointed out, “Ted Stevens et al definitely understand “fluid dynamics” in them there tubes. I’m sure they consulted Al Gore, the inventor of the Internet (tubes). He probably charges a lot for consulting fees I’m guessing. But well worth it! Particularly since he is a former member of Congress and understands “their” language too.”
I use to do similar tricks, but they usually lasted only seconds and for some reason, I would always end up face first in front of the bike.
What’s even more amazing is the bike she uses. It isn’t a standard BMX bike. More of a road bike which is much higher and more difficult to maneuver. Watch as these tricks get progressively more difficult.
The 25 most important questions in the history of the universe.
A great example of 3D modeling and animation.
If only all press conferences could be this entertaining.
Where’s HAL when you need him?
This needs no introduction. A classic.
I ride, therefore I suck.
Time for a reality check, Steve.
Desire to bring your own brand of motivation to friends and loved ones? Design your own motivational posters!
Not sure how the U.S. government tallies your tax burden? We’re here to help.
Another great installment of Unnecessary Censorship (#20) from Jimmy Kimmel Live.
To me, American Idol is boring with a capital ‘B’, but this spoof was a riot. I don’t know who this guy is, but he’s got the impressions down pat.
I’m not a soccer fan in the least bit, but this is one hell of a save.
I got a kick out of this. A great trampoline accident where the guy got what he deserved. Nothing graphic, just funny. I love how he has enough time in the air to process what will be the end result.
And its so much cheaper than using actual explosive devices!
Not so smart there, are ya’ ken.
Cruel. Amusing, but cruel.
Pee-Wee Herman doesn’t have a thing on this guy.
Welcome to the world of latchkey kids.
A semi-cool Flash game for you bored people.
Who says newcasters don’t have tough assignments?
Practice makes perfect! And as we all know, it makes us men live longer.
In case you were wondering.
Clean up, isle five please!
A Superman gone wrong at 20 ft.
I’m dating myself, but as a kid, I remember watching these paticular G.I. Joe shorts on Saturday morning. Unfortunately my fond memories have been permanently warped thanks to these ‘timeless’ re-works. The only one’s worth watching are “Pork Chop Sandwiches” and “Ice.”
Darth Vader calls the Emperor.
Brotherly love (at its worst).
Devolution is more appropriate.
Blue Angels of Death.
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the world’s greatest magician. Imagine what he could teach David Copperfield (other than that he needs a personality transplant).
disturbing, yet uniquely funny, in a weird sorta’ way.
Halo 3 preview from E3, baby!
The Great Flydini! A magician with a seriously (ahem) unique ability.
Mine’s got a nice smooth finish considering how often its polished.
Nothin’ like a horny lobster for dinner. I captured this in Albertson’s supermarket last night.
What I aspire to.
The Jedi Breakfast.
Dated, but still holds it own – the original short Tripping the Rift.
Someone asked me about this so I thought I’d provide some tips from a few sources.
A real EBay firestorm that got so many hits it was recently removed. Read the questions towards the bottom, they are so worth the time.
So back in December of 2005, the Mozilla Corporation created the Firefox Flicks Ad Contest focusing on promoting the creation of innovative 30-second ads about the Firefox browser. Today, an inexplicably funny one posted.
OH MY GOD!!!…Nintendo 64!!!
A one Jason York, esq., created what has got to be one of the most useful anti-Dell tools out there. This was needed five years ago. Better late than never I suppose.
Next up, screwing with your co-workers!
Go easy on Ralph there, dude. And lay off the coke.
Darth Vader against the Japanese Police.
I make no apologizes, I am a big fan of Half-Life 2 and other FPS‘s. While learning the basics of Macromedia Flash, I created a handful of in game vids for my amusement.
It goes without saying – If you have to ask, then you don’t understand. The recently announced official website for Half-Life 2: Episode 1. The game hits stores (and Steam) on June 1st. The video says it all. God bless Valve. The A.I. in the Source engine has been bumped, providing even more realistic interaction with the NPCs. Also to be included in this release is the much touted HDRI technology.
For those interested parties, the story up to this point. More available on wikipedia.org.
For you Google Earth fans, a virtual tour of the 1906 San Francisco earthquake. Thanks guys! Great timing on the release given the article in USA Today that came out the same day detailing the current risks of living in the Bay Area. Way to freak us all out (not to mention driving the value of my home down…jerks).
We hold these truths to be self-evident. Too bad the idiots in this country don’t.
wtf, mates? (Still a classic in my humble opinion.)
It’s never a dull moment with Frank Caliendo. I found one of his older clips too.
This has got to be one of the better amateur videos showcasing lightsaber action.
I need a xxx large, and not because my dog is big.
Next to this kid, I officially suck.
I’m still trying to determine how they did this.
Intentional, but no less painless (if not just painful to watch).
Taking astronomy to a new low.
The evils of squirrel blood – you’ve been warned.
Finally, the word of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has arrived! Ironically, the book’s launch coincided with the first true sighting in Hamburg, Germany. Even more, it was caught on tape during Oktoberfest! I mean, come on, what are the odds?!
How about some ‘unintentionally’ sexual comic book covers to peruse? Were the artists and writers blind or was it blatant? More likely a (drastic) change in times. Before you decide, there’s more to consider.
…they taste like chicken.
An older clip, but still a classic. No doubt I’ll take heat for this from the future in-laws.
The complete list of hoaxes on the net for 2006.
He’s going to be extremely late for work.
Sign me up for for a pack of 100.
It’s a generational thing, you wouldn’t understand.
“The cutest site i’ve ever or youve ever seen is this one CLICK IT NOW LOL!!! because they have the cutest pictures you will ever see =) =) =) Like hamsters wearing SO CUTE hats and so many kittens zomg i love kitties especially that brown one i hope they show him with hats to LOLOLOLOLOL!!! Ok I gottta go now bye!!!”
If someone suggested it, I would have told them such a prank would never work. And yet, an example of how wrong I would have been.
Remove the glass from the doors of a public building and what do you get? A hilarious prank! Watch as these poor people go to push a door open only to get a handful of air and a face full of awkward. Such a simple prank to pull off providing a great reaction.
Atom Films serves up some great short independant films across all genre. For me, I like a good scare now and then. If you’re OK watching flicks in front of a computer, enjoy this particular selection.
All I can say is, he’s got balls…big balls.
It’s fuel enjected too.
I don’t know where you’d even begin to try and start teaching them this stuff.
Welcome to The Great Mall of Milpitas, how can I annoy you?
A Olney, Illinois off duty police officer visiting Foster City, California over the weekend was credited for assisting in the capture of one Tonka, a.k.a. “4×4”, a vicious Bernese Mountain Dog in what local authorities are calling one of the most horrific crimes against sciurus carolinensis. More>
“…and for desert, chocolate covered urinal cakes.”
Called “marton” or toilet in Chinese, the restaurant has long queues (not unlike at Pac Bell Park in S.F.) due to its incredible popularity. Clearly flush with success.
Tonka-san doin’ what he does best. He has a new trick to his arsenal. Bark “tug-a-war!” and he’ll go hunt down and return with his rope for a good pull-n-growl session.
I would thoroughly enjoy having something like this but it would be a tough sell since the damn thing is bigger than my whole house.
Imagine what Macgyver could do with this knowledge!
Why, when I was in tech support didn’t I think of this?
Listen Captain, either get your ego in check or have your olfactory senses tested, OK?
Who knew I could be even more productive with my PC?
Shatner at his finest.
In all seriousness, great advice on resume writing for the IT professional.
I admit it, I’m a fan of Rush. I’m also a thief. I snaked the following off their official websites. Muaw-haa-haa!
I love science, and yet I’d be lucky to understand even .0001% of it. Worse, the more scientists learn, the dumber I get. The latest on dark energy – Headquarters for Missing Mass opened in Menlo Park, CA. And remember kids, Obey gravity. It’s the law!
This sums up my ex-boss pretty well. He really had our backs *cough* throughout my last two years.  A real *hack* team leader *choke*.  I mean really, just because you play a team sport doesn’t mean you have to be a team player, does it? Like they say, there’s no “I” in team, but there is a “me.”
Updates / highlights on boomboom for you FPS fans if so inclined.
It’s still not safe to go back into the water.
The museum of bad album covers. Some of them are just…wrong.
Everything this woman says sounds dirty. (OK, so I made her say it, but that’s not the point.) I played with this way to long. My more memorable ones –
Happy St. Patty’s Day!
To quote St. Patrick – “In honor of my driving the snakes out of Ireland, I beseech thee to paint thyselves green and vomit in the streets.“
The menu from hell. Written in chinese and translated to ‘ingrish, the Carbon Burns Black Bowel sounds so appetizing. Enjoy perusing the menu; the guy’s comments are classic.
I don’t really want to know why they named #1 “Kiss”.
If anything, this is the last guy who should be drinking C8H10N4O2.
Can you imagine gettin’ stung by this bastard?
The first and most likely last podcast given the suck factor on this one.
Can they help me find my virginity too?
Mr. Ed never had it so good.
:: Some holdouts from pre-tablescraps.net overhaul ::
TableScraps.net overhauled. The suck factor is much lower since moving to a more blog-like layout. Welcome to the inagural post.
